Make a wish and ruin someone else's

Granted, but you get viciously attacked by a giant mutant alpaca that needs your unicycle for locomotion.
I wish for a new avatar.

 

Granted

I wish Guitarman will use this avatar.

 

That was a... interesting log-in.
I wish I knew what the original image was.
Uggu~~~

 

Granted but he only lasted 5 minutes thus being butthurt again.

I wish for a thick rope to hang someone with, like a really thick one.

 

Granted, but it was too short for you to do anything with it.

I wish I was significantly better at drawing.

 

Granted, Nobody thinks you draw anymore because all your drawings are photo-realistic over night.
I wish for CTF mode to be out already.

 

Granted, but you are stuck in an endless nightmare about a giant shrek eating your family and food.

I wish for a smiley.

 

:) <-- granted except it is irrelevant since all the signposts are upside down now. I wish for a new metronome.

 

Granted, it only goes at 230 bpm.
I wish for a pre-war Gibson Mastertone banjo.

 

Granted but it was depressed so it killed it self.

I wish for a new kag game mode that doesn't make sense yet it's fun.

 

The wish granting gods misread your wish and gave you Garry's Mod instead.
I wish for a horse with an M16.

 

Granted,But you get a horse with an RPG instead.
I wish for awesomness

 

Granted, your boss/teacher will call you in 5 mins and give you a ton of mind numming work to do.

I wish for a chainsaw.

 

Granted, but it backfires and slices you into little giblets.
I wish to be better than Contrary

 

Granted, but you get so good that you explode out of awesomeness.
I wish for Nyan Cat

 

Granted, but you're still worse than everyone else.

Granted, but you cannot control your hunger and end up eating it. Having eaten the legendary cat, you must now carry and continue its tedious burden, its legacy, of which it had managed to bear for the past two eons. As you shoot away from Earth with a rainbow trail appearing from your butt, a tear sheds and you say good bye.

I wish I had bought a bottle of ice-cold delicious water from the store earlier.