Weapon of Choice

A printer. It's always gonna be a fucking huge printer.

 

you could smash them with it?
Printer is pretty heavy y'know.
What the fuck am I gonna do with a fake moustache and a walnut?

 

Why can't I like posts in this thread? Oh, right, spamcan. Dammit.

Great, now I got a laser toy thing.

...I have a bigass The Silent Clowns book to my right, if it helps...

 

third time I visit the thread it's a remote control. ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡
JUST KILL ME ALREADY

 

Rubik's Cube.

Well, that's mildly more helpful then oh, I don't know, a fucking pen.

 

I got a balance-arm lamp from Ikea. It might work; it's better then a Rubik's Cube.

 

Well, apparently it's a whole damn bed! Should be able to deal some damage with it, if only I can lift it.

but of course i can lift it, i'm muscle wizard

 

Give them the instructions, it'll puzzle them for hours.
this joke is too good for spamcan coz' spamcan got no likes >:l

 

...

Why the hell am I holding an eraser? What am I gonna do, erase the zombies?

 

A Mack truck hood ornament.
Boom.

 

I got a tube tv, lucky me.
On the other hand, on my right is a box of mtg cards. At least I won't die bored.

 

...

Well, shit. Am I unlucky? Yeah, I guess; I got a huge fucking recliner couch thing to my left this time. There's no way in shit that I'll ever be able to lift it easily enough to kill zombies with it.