Make a wish and ruin someone else's

Granted, but the dog is actually really vicious and rips your face off.

I wish for Gabe Newell's account on Steam

 

Granted, but he unregisters all his games and perks beforehand and transfers them to an alternate account.

I wish for more breadcrumbs and carrots.

 

Granted, but you die of food poisoning.

I wish for 5000 posts.

 

Granted but you get permabanned for spam

I wish for a unicorn

 

Granted, but it breathes fire death, which means anyone in a large perimeter is now dead.

I wish for a gummy bear.

 

um ok ill just use a funnel to keep the death in 1 direction

anyway wish granted

I wish for immoratality so I can use my unicorn...

 

Granted, but Geti nerfs you, which accidentally results in your death.

I wish for a nerf gun and a ban hammer.

 

sorry its make a wish not 2 your wish is now invalid I wish to be un-nerfed

 

Granted, but Geti makes you OP while trying to balance you, resulting in you becoming even more nerfed then last time.

I still wish for a nerf gun, give it to me.

 

ok you get a a nerf gun, but it breaks the first time you play with it I wish geti would stop fucking with my mechanics and leave me immortal

 

Granted, instead Furai now messes around with your mechanics, resulting in a rip in space-time continuum and ... your death.

I wish I was an anime girl.

 

Granted but then the tentacles come.......I wish to be the one messing with peoples mechanics not the other way arround

 

Granted, but you get kicked from the team for being a bed dev, and end up homeless.

I wish my eyes were purple.

 

granted but the operation causes u to go blind I wish I was my own team

 

Granted, but you do a 1 v 1 with Sangfroid and... you know...

I wish for a magical flying kite.

 

then it crashes and kills you
i wish for @jrgp to give me compensation money

 

Granted, but there was no compensation needed, other than for jrpg's time, so you had to pay him $13.37.

I wish for this thread to jump back up on its' feet and be decent again.

 

Granted, but then @PUNK123 joins in again.

I wish for full-immersion virtual reality KAG.

 

Granted but then you get teamkilled by trolls

I wish that the patriots would win today

 

Granted, but then . . . . I don't know anything about football...