(closed) [BoW] - PROCEDURALLY GENERATED DISAPPOINTMENT

I'll only talk at you, Problematic Walter.

And yes, goodbye to you too, Shen2.

 

I never said you can't talk to me, only speaking is forbidden.

 

BoW-certified in loophole since 2015?

 

That's rude m9, gotta respect other clans

 

This is the shagadelic review of the most bitching game of all time, Hatoful Boyfriend.

Ever wanted to envelop yourself in the world of pigeon romance? Well now you can! All you have to do is hand in any dignity you have left(if any) and you're good to go. You are a sophomore at the prestigious school of St. PigeoNation, the only human student in fact. Your task is to woo the hens with your luscious locks and cheeky charms. This game is made by Mediatonic in cooperation with Hato Moa, who also made Foul Play,and 'Who's That Flying?!'.

Firstly, the characters in this game are varied in personality, each contributing to the plot equally. For example, you meet Sakuya, who is one pompous prick from high society. This dastardly bastard makes anybirdy quail in their feathers. Even though it is a regular school day, the events that entail are quite the opposite. One simple conversation between man and bird can spiral out of control into an interaction between 2 lovers. The way that the characters interact with is each other is really intriguing in a way that the player can relate to.

Next, the graphics are eggcellently crafted, possibly the best I have feather seen. The anime theme mixes well with the realistic appearance of the birds. There are so many breeds of bird featured in this game that you will be helpless to control your birdwatcher e-peen, I understand. Moreover, the numerous locations featured in the game have been drawn to a great standard, as should be expected from such a game as Hatoful Boyfriend.

Spoiler: Shagtastic graphics

JUST LOOK AT THAT BEAK

In addition, the dialogue is humorous and diverse. However, some quotes are repeated somewhat often, and for some reason french is used occasionally. And to think that Yusti was the only thing that had Fois Gras! Additionally, there are some references to other well-known games such as Pokemon. There are also decisions that can be made in this dialogue, meaning that the plot can change depending on the choices made. As an effect, this cracks open the possibility of replaying this clucktastic game! Each story is unique from the other, and will get you feeling different emotions. From ecstatic enjoyment, to sheer sadness, Hatoful Boyfriend will take you on a roller-coaster of feels.

Adding on to that, the music is pretty smooth and relaxing. I could get into a relationship with a bird to these soundtracks...oh wait. You can get the OST with the Collector's Edition. The noises that the birds make are very unusual. Neither has furiously stamping on pudding, or a bird sprinting on a race track sounded so real before!

In conclusion, I can recommend this game with all my heart. It has flown from the nest of shitty early access and MMOs that is the steam front page. You will shed man-tears, and will question everything that you thought you knew about school, love, and most of all pigeons. If you want to get in the dating game, but have a fear of women(most of you do, nerds), Hatoful Boyfriend has got everything you need!

(Obligatory 8/8 m8)

 

@Galen has become a woman

when will BoW throw her a Quinceañera?

 

where is da Like button?

 

¿A tí qué coño te pasa con los españoles?

 

@Lawrence_Shagsworth how long did that take you to write up? Or did the passion consume you and you didn't keep track?

 

He took the whole afternoon to write that up.

 

Spoiler

mfw im actual spanish masterrace user and still I can communicate in this ugly saxon tongue perfectly

 

I bought Shaggers a copy of Hatoful Boyfriend on the condition that he review it in 500+ words.

 

Heidegger insta-win factor.

 

mfw fist

 

Most of the time writing that review was spent thinking of as many bird puns as possible. However, I did a pretty piss-poor job of doing it

 

Its bad like BoW. It belongs here shags

 

You guys better quote one of my bird puns on the main page, or I'm going it flip shit

 

btw guys our server is back online, ya'll got admin so go ham on that abus