Fortunate/Unfortunately Story

Unfortunately, you fail to escape because I kill you with my Bowie Knife.

 

fortunately, the bowie knife is cursed with his unholy blood (he was secretly planning to perform his own base experiments on the guards.) and it cuts you into a million tiny little pieces of dog food.

It also makes a bag out of your bloodied clothes, since the knife is of course a Legendary craftsman.
Then it pushes your little dogfood bits into the bag and leaves it there.

 

Fortunately, I become a ghost, posses you and force you to bite your tongue off, therefore drowning in you're own blood.

 

Unfortunately, KnightGabe13 slipped on a banana and die while eating durian.

 

Fortunately, Gabe was already dead and thus did not suffer this horrible fate.

 

Unfortunately, he has to be killed at least three times.

 

Fortunately, my in-game clantag, "zombE", grants me immunity to Bowie Knives and bananas. I am therefore
able to resume my acts of zombified heroism.

 

Unfortunately, KG13 you have forgotten that durian is the best weapon ever. And that you have 1 ticket and some noob use your last ticket.

 

Fortunately, time slows down.

 

Unfortunately, I dont know what a durian is.

Fortunately, because of this I resume to be "undead." Again, zombified acts of heroism. :)
I also resume walking in slow motion like a bawz, 'cus time slowed down. :p

 

Unfortunately, I had forgotten that I have already posted in this thread.