Every time I try to be social...

It ends up like one of these :
Religious Argument (Most recent catalyst : My brother " Science Channel is just the Aithiest channel, and they only agree with people they like")
Socialistic Argument ( Toomanypeople "Games do nothing for you, you don't interact with people, you don't learn anything, you don't gain anything")
I always respond with something like this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhuOzBS_O-M&feature=channel&list=UL
Regular Conversation (Very, very rare)
Irregular conversation (These are the conversations I like, and this is why I choose my friends.)
I have a problem with other people, I am bad at being social, so people try to teach me to be social, even though "Being Social" isn't something that can be taught, so when I am social by definition I'm completely shot down and called wrong from absolutely no where.
Maybe if society were better I would join it.

 

Every time I try to be social...

I SUCCEED.

 

Protip: Get a person to talk about themselves and their interests.

BOOM you're set for another 2-3 hours.

 

Sweet , thanks.

 

I was incredibly socially inept throughout junior high school. At one point I could barely say "hello," to someone I didn't know, practically all of school except the small group of friends I was completely dependent upon. At this time I fooled myself that I was happy with this and everyone else was stupid, and I was better off without them.

I thought much about it and came to the conclusion that I didn't want to be like this, this is nothing that happened overnight.

When I started senior high school I told myself that this was a new beginning. New friends and I had no social expectations on me, no one knew who I was, for the most part. So I started to pretend to be social. It sounds bloody stupid but it is the truth. One could say that the whole thing was a play that I was an actor in.

I forced myself to talk slowly and loud whenever I ended up in a conversation, I forced myself to have a good posture and look people in their faces when I talked to them. I even gave people a rather strong handshake to convince them that I was a resolute and secure person.

I thought about this all the time, every moment someone talked to me was a learning experience, a way to improve myself. Now it is no longer me pretending to be social. It was all about overcoming the fear of people judging me. When you keep to yourself you tend to think too much about what people will think about you, they really don't care that much, at least not in a meticulous way.

I love people, communication, to do things together, is one best feelings in the entire world. It is my belief that people compare their weak points against others strong points, and that makes you feel bad. Everyone is better than you in something in the same way you have something that you exceed at, even if you don't know it.

Intelligence is measured upon the context. We all have different interests and end up in different situations in which we learn stuff by doing it. Kinda what John Dewey said.

 

I gave all the points that I had something to say to a number, and I will respond one by one.
1. Cynical Belief is something that could cause one to be anti-social.
For me it's that everyone is too slow.
2. It's never a new beginning, you're still the same person.
3. You're forcing yourself to do stuff for other people is what I get from this.
4. Judgement is a way to improve yourself, but most people think it's a way to insult another.
5. I don't.
6. No it isn't you silly.
7. I compared my weak points once, I sucked it up and got better. If it makes me feel bad I change my way of thinking about it without abandoning the last way of thinking, if someone exceeds at one thing better than I, I get better. (Unless it's something that's completely vulgar.)

 

Me being cynical was rather a symptom and not the cause for my social anxiety. It came as an result due to the fact that I completely lacked an outlet of expression. I deluded myself into thinking that my current existence was totally fine, I did not spend time with other people because they were stupid, it makes me a bit sad looking back at. Ultimately there is no regret, I am who I am, everything has lead to this point.

Of course, it can also be as you say, the other way around, the cause. If someone does not want to to be friend with a simple plebeian like myself, that is fine, personally I don't want to be like that, and that is what lead me to change. Cynicism and an overly inflated pride often goes hand in hand in my mind, it doesn't have to be like that, nothing is ever set in stone, but that was the case for me. It was a defensive mechanism, a way for me to manage everyday life.

It was quite a new beginning for me. My attitude towards life in general was different when I walked into senior high school. I was willing to accept that everyone is an intelligent in their own respective way, despite of their personality. Of course I am the same person as I used to be, but I do no longer keep to my beliefs just so that I can feel superior. One of the things I value the most is the ability to change your way of thinking instead of clinging to some sort of self proclaimed pride. I am not saying that people should change what they believe for anything, but if what someone says feels right to you, accept it, rather than standing up for something just so you wont lose your face. We grow in the directions we want. Fundamentally I am no longer the same person.

I was forcing myself to be who I really wanted to be. I was always so terribly afraid of being judged. I could never take a stance since it would lead to conflict in my eyes and that was horrifying, heck at one point I couldn't even tell people that I liked badminton, why? Because of the nagging fear that people would then say something bad about it, that would've been like a personal insult back then. Point is, it was all for myself, I would not force myself to spend time with people because I didn't like it, just to please them. I forced myself so that I could spend more time with others.

It is all really personal, but being around people you care about is the best feeling I know. They leave impressions on me as I do the same, it is never said, might not even notice it, but it goes there.

 

Get a girlfriend. EVERYTHING will change after that.

 

Sounds expensive.

 

Smart man. Make sure she isn't such an expensive looking girl, would be my only advice.

 

What are the equations and what do we understand of women? If nothing, it sounds too risky.

 

So... relevant. Guess you'll carry your v-card to your grave. I TRIED.

 

I could just get into necrophilia.

 

My average Non-ingame conversation with someone I don't know.:
Me:Hi.
Person:Hi.
*Says some random stuff, then walks away*

 

Just work on it, I was a fucking retard when I was a kid. Strong will, strong personality is the way to go. I'm still not the most social person generally sitting around in the library or wherever eating noodles or sushi, but still just about everyone I meat I can have a good time with. "Smile motherfucker" as someone once said to me.