How to be pro and make this game an awesome experience for everybody

You want to be a good team player and respected by everybody? Just follow these simple rules.

In building phase:
- it doesn't matter if there is 2 minutes or more on the timer. change to be a knight or archer and jump around at the front or stand where other people want to build.
- if you want to be a builder: build high walls that people can't pass near to the base. height is more important than usability. when you try new things that are not common don't tell anybody about it. they want to steal your secrets! if they build around your new trap or whatever call them stupid because the deserve it. demolish their inferiour buildings. don't bother telling them why that only costs time.

In battle phase:
- now that everybody attacks there ist plenty of space at the base. take your time to rebuild everything the way you like it. if you don't have enough resources to build your tower destroy some workshops.
- if you are knight: never cover archers. they may be weak and it would destroy naturall selection.
- always storm forward! tactics are for idiots!
- as an archer never care about what other people are doing. you don't have to help other archers or knights by attacking at coordinated. you are a sniper and a lonely wolf if you help them they may only get your kill and that's bad for your kill/death ratio.
- if you are a builder alway destroy the enemy's structures. it is used and who likes to wear used clothes? making an enemy tower yours tells the enemy that you are poor. better collapse it on as many players of your own team as possible. everybody loves the spectacle that causes.
- outposts and catapults can be moved. move them to where you like. don't talk about it if anybody thinks the place you broght it to is not the good. you have to prove yourself against your jealous teammates so never back down so they know who's the alpha wolf.
- if the team units go down see it as a call for you to rush to the front. use even less tactics as before. your team has lost anyway. you can use up the rest of the lives. people that try to barricade in the fortress and use the traps to their advantage are pussies. before you leave the server after you can't spawn anymore tell everybody it's their fault your team loses.

After the unit limit went down:
- so somehow you are still alive. maybe because you had to take a big dump and where afk at base? that's no problem. just finish the important things you have to do the most important thing is that your server slot is not taken when you decide to play later.
- if it is a close match and there are about as many enemy units in the enemy team as in yours never try to kill them or defend your base actively. dig into the earth as deep as you can. you need a good bunker down there because they will try to catch you. everybody will look with envy at your superior gameplay. the noobs that tell you to defend the flag are only whineing because they played so bad and can't spawn now. the player who lives when the round ends is a proud defender of a species that would otherwise be extinct and he deserves respect.

During the game:
- Never use teamchat. We are the best and have nothing to hide from the other team.
- Use the chat only to yell at people. Being called a fag motivates your own teamates and provocates the enemy. don't listen if they call you immarture or a spammer. those people are the ones you bullied in school and they know nothing about gaming.

After the game:
- The other team won? Impossible! Maybe you had a griefer in your team? Yes, this must be it. How else could they have outplayed your great tactics, skills and buildings? You have the right now to change to the other team and grief the shit out of it. That's just fair and the only way to make them learn their lesson. Remember the bible says an eye for an eye.

Feel free to ad more to this guide. ;)

(some of the last games made me doubt in human intelligence so here the disclaimer: this is guide is ironic. better do the exact opposite.)

 

Haha, epic guide.

 

ehm... shouldn't we be discouraging griefers?

 

A bit too visible, but it's all true ;)

 

Some additions:
For builders: make spiketraps! They have been proven to be the most effective way to kill enemies.
And don't make it deep, make it only 1 block deep and don't make it hidden or make walls out of stone.
Walls of stone are a waste of stone and serve no purpose, and hiding traps is for pussies, real man show the enemy their traps and laugh when they still fall into them.
If your team is digging a pit: hijack it for your spiketrap, whatever they are building can never be as awesome and effective as a generic spiketraps.

Also make sure to make all skybridges out of stone, it will never be taken by the enemy so there is no risk that they will use it.
If you see a wooden skybridge - DESTROY IT - team bridge sky bridges are for pussies and since team bridges do damage to enemies you will make some kills with it as well.

If you are dropping stone blocks on enemies like a boss remember this: It doesn't matter how many teammates get killed by the falling stone if at least 1 enemy dies, teamkills don't count for your K/D and K/D is everything in a game which is based around a flag.

Fully charging your catapult is for pussies, 2 bars is enough.
Don't hide your outpost or your catapult in a safe place, bring it to the middle of a battle field in the middle of nowhere because then team members can spawn right next to their enemies, and if it gets taken over it's your team's fault for supplying poor protection.

If your teammate makes a building and he is gathering new materials you should be helpful and make it into a building which you think is good, if your teammate doesn't agree and starts breaking the building to rebuild it into his own spam the chat that he his griefing your building and ask an admin to ban him/kick him.

*Everything here is sarcasm, even the teambridges do damage part (some people think they do for some reason...).
** The last paragraph about the fake grief is the #1 reason I get kicked/temp banned.

 

Lol nice guide :P
I find it tottaly ussfull(less)

 

Heres my additions ;D

If youre making a workshop ALWAYS make it at the top of a tower on a sky bridge or extremly deep down underground it will make it harder for the enemie to take it and griefers will not be able to find it.

If you make an outpost throw it right into the enemie! Youre team will respawn in the middle of the battle field.

ALWAYS use catapults as ammo in catapults!
Everyone knows that 10 stone costs more than 120 wood.
Also catapults will be usefull for youre team mates!