RULES OF KAG - A simple guide to help get beginners started

Got bored today, and on TDM, I had a thought, evidently we need a few simple guidelines for any beginner to get into mind to help them into this beautiful, beautiful game. After an hour of consideration, fuck it. So here it is.

RULES OF KAG - A beginners guide to both the gameplay and community aspects of this game.

Rule 1) This game hates you.
Rule 2) Kag = Lag, unless refer to rule 7.
Rule 3) Nobody is your friend.
Rule 4) Shields never work
Rule 5) Anybody worse than you is a n00b.
Rule 6) Anybody better than you is a HaX0r.
Rule 7) You have either 0-33 or 299+ ping. No exceptions.
Rule 8) Classic never existed. Don't talk about it.
Rule 9) Your skill level is determined by the following formula.
"h" is the total hours you have spent in KAG
"X" is the total ego level you have acquired.
"f" is the total fame you have acquired.
"g" is the skill level of your idol. If you have none, then use Henry.

(h*g + f) to the power of X

Rule 10) TDM you are either a runner or camper. No exceptions.
Rule 11) G.I.R.L. = Guy in real life.
Rule 12) Server crashes are always the result of DDoS attacks.

Anyone else think anything else can accurately describe this game?

Spoiler

Don't even know if this is sarcastic or serious.

 

You forgot rule 34.

 

Rule 13) DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING TRAMPS YOU GRIEFING ASSHOLE

Also emotes need to be factored in to the skill level formula

 

very funny indeed