Clan/KAG Related Fan Fiction Thread

After many satirical conversations involving somewhat improvised stories with a factual base, I have decided that anyone with a piece of fan fiction (no matter how low brow) should have the right to share it. With this in mind, I have created a thread with the sole purpose of brightening up someone's day with a humourous peice of literature. Please feel free to post any stories you or someone you know may have generated and to everyone else, enjoy. :)

Authors:
MrJinkies
Frogdo

 

POWER clan & Mr.Jinkies Portrayed by Mr.Jinkies in a gallaxy far far away (Intro) (also includes material not suitable for some audiences please take heed to this warning )

In a gallaxy far far away in the universe Verra on the planet Zano lived a humble man his name Mr.Jinkies he was considered to be a shrewd but very inquisitve man. He enjoyed many things taking long walks on the beach, hanging out at his favourite sleezy bar the Thirsty sloth that was ran but a somewhat psychotic man named Ruleral who everyone knew as the sleez bag of the city so as usuaul Jinkies would take his walk along the beach to get to his favourite sleez bar where he runs into a old war friend of his Chronowaster who now since only just leaving the army under honourable discharge has taken up the day job of a simple pimp with anoher one of there old war buddies Beaster who is Chrono's right hand man now. Jinkies, chrono and beaster banter for hours with Ruleral in the background constantly trying to hit on young women being rejected left right and centre. It is now about 4 am in the morning Jinkies decides to head home after his exhausting day of banter but on hiw way home he encounters a rogue thug named bluefire. This bluefire demends that Jinkies hands over all his cash and his diamond encrusted rolex. Jinkies stands silent for a few moments as if to pretend he is scared then all of a sudden he lets out a huge LMAO bluefire put a bit off ease by this sudden out burst is taken advantage of by Jinkies. Jinkies kicks him off his feet and jabs his throat while in mid-air but Bluefire recovers quickly and makes a hasty retreat. shortly after jinkies finally makes it home where his man servant Aracadebomber welcomes him home and while Jinkies sits by his fire place having a classy discussion with arcade and a bottle of scotch wiskey they talk for hours untill both arcade and Jinkies pass out blind drunk.

To be continued ...................

 

Hahaha Jinkies, I loved it. Well written, the imagery was amazing and the metaphor regarding Verra of life and prosperity and how mankind itself realeases its degradation and negative energy in a hindering way upon itself was...simply amazing (note that I actually know what the metaphor is about). The hint of childishness and relatability you continued throughout was a refreshing touch to the otherwise elegant segment of the POWER story. Can't wait for part 2 :D

 

Whats this?

More lies!

 

Chapter 1 To chanced meeting's

Errrrrrrrrrr..... the sound tht rose from jinkies voice as he drag's himself off the floor. he begins kicking arcade till he gets up as jinkies is not a man who likes to do things himself also jinkies only hired arcadw cause he makes a mean triple choc tim tam mocha frappe. finally arcade get;s up with the same Errrrrrrrr.... jinkies himself said arcade responds what is it now master jinkies mumbles the usual as he stumbles into his bedroom. Fifthteen minutes later arcade wanders into the room with a box of asprin and the usual triple choc tim tam mocha frappebut alas jinkies has passed out blindly again so arcade retires to his chambers for some much needed but underserved rest. finally its three pm jinkies awakes feeling recovered and refreshed but saddened that his triple choc tim tam mocha frappe has gone off. Displeased by his mocha frappe going to shits he decides to wander the town where he runs into a interesting street preformer called Symphony Soldier jinkies was intigued by Symphony's abilties with the chello he watched him play for what almost seemed like an entire day but jinkies knows he cant stay for long so he decides to wander the streets some more. whre he run's into a off world tourist. Chicken Tree was his name jinkies thinks to himself what a peculiar name but he chats with this off world guest for many hours trying to teach him the way's of the town and what he should look out for. Once again it has coem time for jinkies to leave to take his walk down the beach and onto yonder he sets off right away but along the beach. he finally reaches his friendly tavern but a group of street punks are blocking the entrance Jinkies approaches them and ask's them to move from obstructing the door but their leader melan steps foward and tells jinkies to shut the fuck up grandpa. Jinkies replies with a hmph and a slight raise of the head as a sign of superiority. Melan has become insulted who picks up a convienietly placed lead pipe and smack's it across jinkies face. jinkies stumbles around dazed for minutes as the group of thugs ROFL everywhere but Jinkies body cant support him no longer he finally collapses to the ground sustaining a minor concussion. The next morning he wakes up in a hospital displeased that the freaking nurses dont know how to make a triple choc tim tam mocha frappe so he asks the nurse for a phone call. of course he calls his faithful old man servant arcade but dosent ask arcade to retrieve him or give him a lift simply to make him his freaking usual order. but there call is rudely interuppted when a nurse that catches jinkies attention walks by so the cunning mister jinkies pretends to be in agony the nurse quickly rushes in and says waht is wrong mister its my leg its cramping really badly i think your gonna have to massage it with soem cream to help the nurse goes to fetch some cream while jinkies sits there pleased with himself but to his suprise it is not the same nurse that returns but rather a hidious beast who says daisy's shift is over so ill be filling in for her jinkies instantly curls up into a ball and shouts somebody oh dear god help me somebody any body. hours later arcade fianlly makes it to the hospital to find jinkies shivering and pale in comaparison arcade asks' what is wrong my master but jinkies cant make out a single word about what happened he pulls arcade in close by his tie and whispers we chall never speak about what happened in this room finally jinkies returns home where he locks himself in his room for days.

To be continued ...............................

 

*sniff* that was beautiful can't wait to hear more

 

Too much time, on your damn hands.

 

I'm curious to know who my group of thugs are :D

 

I cant believe you hit jinkies with a lead pipe Melan, what the heck? Lol

Heh heh

Ah haha haha

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

 

I think BC really enjoys your story :P
Also can he be in my gang pls pls pls :D

 

A great addition to your already excellent story Jinkies. You showed to be quite humble when you didn't give yourself a sex scene with that supposedly attractive nurse. The imagery was once again top notch and the humour was implemented quite well. You are now considered a regular on this thread, should I add you to a list of authors? I want to acknowledge your hard work XD

 

No way, BC should be a new character!

Lol regular. You made this thread for jink's storys.

 

http://kagforum.com/index.php?threads/a-bards-lament.1630/

This was written before TheEpicBard demanded likes for his stories... he is such a likewhore.

 

Indeed.

 

Chapter 2 (How did i get myself here)

It's been three weeks now after the incident and Jinkies has finaly returned to reality but with only one thing on his mind to find that nice man who beat his skull in with a pipe. Jinkies pulls out the ye olde phone book to track down a P.I. that could help him. He stumbles accross Armyman a fine looking fella with a extravagent stache that god's would envy. Jinkies says to himself its settled this god like of a man shall be my P.I. after arcade makes his fucking triple choc tim tam mocha frappe NOWWWWWW screams jinkies at arcade. Two hours later once jinkies has quenched his thirst and completely forgotten about the whole P.I thing he goes for his usaul walk where fate has it that he run into this god like of a man buying dope off of a street bum. Jinkies shouts outArmy's name accross the street jinkies thinks to himself he doesnt look happy to see me maybe i should go approach the nice gentleman. Jinkies walks over to Armyman where he is thrown to the wall and asked what the fuck you weant fuck face jinkies respsonds i thought you were that P.I. Armyman quickly releases his grip with a big smile on his face and say's step into my office right this way sir. which convienitely happens to be the door in that very dark, dank alley and the office wasnt much of a site eithier files scattered accross the floor what looks like a pile of porn mags and the stench of cigars boose and cigarettes fill the air but jinkies dosent say that he murmurs what a lovely play u have here ......... Army repsonds with a simple nod and continues to say so what is it that you would like me to help you with sir. Jinkies goes through the details of the day while armyman finds it hard to control his laughter even though jinkies is unpleased with this laughter he is ahppy that his day pleases such a god like man. Armyman takes the case under his belt literally he straps the case folder under his belt -.- so it has began they said as they exchange hand shakes and go their seperate ways. jinkies decides to go head to his favourite tavern the Thirsty sloth where he sits with ruleral as they banter over the events of the days before but jinkies get's the feeling he is more concentrated on the young girl behind him than what jinkies has to say and soon enough ruleral just drops everything to go try his sleezy tactics jinkies sighs and just as he is about to leave this strange man come's and sits down next to him. now jinkies is always for meeting new people so they begin to talk and after getting into a blind drunk rage they leave the tavern together *wink* and head there seperate ways. The next morning after jinkies has recovered of course he for some reason is in the mood for some pie so he sets out on his 2 minute quest of epic porportions to get a nice steak and mushroom pie. after devouring the pis like a group of zombies devour humans without remorse he starts to get this strange feeling little does he know that this was no ordinary pie it wasn't just any normal mushrooms he had eaten they were magic mushrooms jinkies is sent into what looks like a whole completely new universe where he thinks he talks to a magic peacock for hours which turns out to be a sewer rat in fact after hours of not knowing where the fuck he is he seems to feel into what seemed like a never ending pit untill he just passed out compltely. Jinkies has finally awoken to find himself in a spiked pit of death with the sun gleaming directly down on him he struggles to look up when a shadow appears leaning over the hole. The stranger says well ill be dammed that is the first time ive ever seen someone fall into my BC pits without being hurt surely enough it was BC the famous hunter and expert trap maker. Coem on stranger give me your hand ill help you out of there man you must be one lucky son of a bitch to survive that trap. Bc takes jinkies to his lodge in the middle of the forest where Bc asks if he was thirsty Jinkies responds instantly with a triple choc tim tam mocha frappe Bc glares at him and says you do know im a hunter not a barista jinkies is saddened BC says dont be sad ill make you a BC suprise jinkies is intirgued yet scared is he gonna get raped oractually get a drink that dont taste like shit to his suprise it was just coffee with marshmallows -.- BC laughs i knew you wouldnt be inpressed but jinkies puts on a false smile and pretends to be pleased as they talk about the past few days whihc lead him into one of BC's traps but the time has come for them to part and jinkies must return home where he can finally get his fucking usual order from arcade Bc Drives jinkies home in his obnoxiously huge hummer and the two men part ways. jinkies walks through the door to find arcade past out in the hall way with many various bottles of alchol sourrunding him which all seem to be mostyl full jinkies laughs and murmurs what a light wieght as he heads to bed for some much needed rest.

To be continued ..........

reply time

ruleral i was gonna make BC a character all along as you just read

Melan you are never going to find out who was in your group cause you asked XD

Darksteel i dont even know what the hell you are talking about but ok .....

Verra post your god damn stories i feel so alone on this thread with people just replying also you can buy me all the triple choc tim tam mocha frappes you want and a nice whore wouldnt hurt XD also WTF was with that song i was expecting more from you -.-

 

Haha, now you got me picturing Armyman as a general with a thick moustache.

Heres an picture of me with my extravagant moustache (taken over a year ago, the stache is gone now)

Lol.... I said this to Jinkies yesterday.

 

damn i sound sexy. :3

 

No doubt you are

 

Army you better stay away from me or ill get my gang and beat you up with some pipes :o