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Story A Detailed Report on the Behavior of the Knight Troll

Discussion in 'KAG Media' started by kexus, Apr 12, 2012.

  1. kexus

    kexus Catapult Fodder

    Messages:
    5
    A few days ago, while playing on a Premium Sandbox server, I encountered an enemy knight who had gone into our side of the map to harass us. Three builders and a bit of stone was all it took to trap him inside of a small stone enclosure. Once we had secured him and named him "Bazoozoo", I was able to take advantage of this unique opportunity to closely observe and record the behavior of the Knight Troll.
    screen-12-04-09-17-24-40.png

    One of the first things that became apparent was that they are a burrowing species. I unsure as to whether he was attempting to escape, or simply to hide underground, but he made several attempts to dig tunnels down into the dirt.
    screen-12-04-09-17-44-35.png
    The additional stone blocks you see in this picture were all placed to block tunnels he had made.

    While Bazoozoo was able to understand and follow some simple commands such as "Sit" and "Back up", as shown in the first picture, he became very disobedient as soon as an opportunity arose. While attempting to repair damage he had done to his enclosure, one of our builders fell in and was immediately attacked by Bazoozoo. Since players all had infinite health, Bazoozoo kept him trapped in a corner, repeatedly shieldbashing him. It took 2 knights and 2 builders to restrain him and rescue the poor victim.

    After some time had passed, and Bazoozoo seemed to have calmed down, he began attempting to speak. Although he never spoke any actual words, the fact that he was able to immitate the speach of his caretakers shows a surprising level of intelligence. This is shown by the following picture, Jojoha being Bazoozoo's screen name.
    screen-12-04-09-17-56-21.png

    The most shocking observation was Bazoozoo's ability to cooperate with a member of his own team. We had walled in an enemy builder who we caught attempting to free Bazoozoo, and the two immediately began working together. Bazoozoo and the builder can be seen in the bottom of the previous picture. The builder is digging a way out while Bazoozoo keeps the two builders attempting to stop them trapped in a corner. It was through this teamwork Bazoozoo was ultimately able to escape back into his natural habitat.

    I hope you found this both informative and entertaining.
     
  2. King133x

    King133x Ballista Bolt Thrower

    Messages:
    14
  3. Disrespekt

    Disrespekt Shark Slayer

    Messages:
    59
    Nice...
     
  4. thebonesauce

    thebonesauce All life begins and ends with Nu Staff Alumni
    1. MOLEing Over Large Estates - [MOLE]
    2. The Ivory Tower of Grammar-Nazis

    Messages:
    2,554
    You'd think he would have just killed himself with cyanide...
     
  5. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk gaurenteed shitter

    Messages:
    793
    "i iiii erthhhhhfffdrffrf"

    This level of speech is just... incredible.
     
  6. AJ

    AJ Emperor of Mankind Donator

    Messages:
    592
    Its more legible than alot of other people's.
     
  7. Titmau5

    Titmau5 Bison Rider Staff Alumni

    Messages:
    87
    Wtf did I just read
     
  8. Prosaurus

    Prosaurus Catapult Fodder

    Messages:
    7
    Sandbox servers sound fun. I wonder if you could research a Builder Troll?
     
  9. FuzzyBlueBaron

    FuzzyBlueBaron Warm, Caring, Benign, Good and Kind Philanthrope Global Moderator Forum Moderator Donator Tester
    1. The Young Blood Collective - [YB]

    Messages:
    2,508
    This is a beautiful thing - I had David Attenborough's voice narrating in my head as I read. :)
     
    AnRK, Foxodi, MacD and 3 others like this.
  10. Dark_Ham

    Dark_Ham Shipwright

    Messages:
    144
    This really made me laugh! Haha!
     
  11. Viken

    Viken Horde Gibber

    Messages:
    108
    Very funny. I hope you can continue this documentary at some point...in the name of science!
     
  12. PumpkingSlice

    PumpkingSlice Base Burner

    Messages:
    474
    This is actually not bad :D
     
  13. Evan5567

    Evan5567 Shark Slayer
    1. SharSharShar - [SHARK]

    Messages:
    55
    Funny...
     
  14. KingKongGoblin

    KingKongGoblin Shipwright

    Messages:
    8
    :thumbs_up: i liked the part about the knight
     
  15. Adinxs

    Adinxs Bison Rider

    Messages:
    340
    Oh good, I thought it was about me.
    I was in the exact same predicament at one time, they made me dance for gold.
     
    Viken, FuzzyBlueBaron, Foxodi and 2 others like this.
  16. Mister_Meatball

    Mister_Meatball Base Burner

    Messages:
    135
    I am a member of BETA (Blue Entitlement Through Assholery) and what you did that poor blue creature breaks several blue rights laws. I will now make a commercial during a popular holiday sending you on a guilt trip showing all the suffering blue knights in the world. You better not appear in public for a few years if you don't want to be dowsed in blue paint by a crazy activist like me.
     
    _Cuffs_, Contrary, Viken and 4 others like this.
  17. kexus

    kexus Catapult Fodder

    Messages:
    5
    This got a lot more of a response than I expected. I'll try and make a whole series out of this.
    He was a good sport about it. I think he wanted to try and escape on his own, instead of just suiciding.
     
  18. BoiiW

    BoiiW Shark Slayer

    Messages:
    338
    Hahaha awesome xD
     
  19. Brandon816

    Brandon816 Ballista Bolt Thrower

    Messages:
    262
    Narrated by: Morgan Freeman
     
    Viken and Dark_Ham like this.
  20. knightl

    knightl Base Burner

    Messages:
    453
    I typed this into a Sameul jackson translator

    i think i need new pants