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Puns!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Sytoplasma, Nov 10, 2014.

Mods: BlueLuigi
Page 1 of 2
  1. Sytoplasma

    Sytoplasma Haxor

    Messages:
    88
    ^Post your puns. Big puns, small puns, puns of all sizes. Seriously... someone post........ anypun. Come up with a pun watching OTAK-Un Titan? Post it. Realize just how amazingly witty you were in a game of KAGture the flag? Put it down below.

    Sytoplasma not responsible for any seizures, heart attacks, spontaneous foot-numbing, lethal facepalms, or any other bad-pun-induced injuries or symptoms.
     
    Sytoplasma, Nov 10, 2014
    #1
    FuzzyBlueBaron, Sir_Walter and icemusher like this.
  2. dayleaf

    dayleaf Haxor
    1. The Thieves Guild

    Messages:
    255
    *bad joke* "Do you see any enemies? cause i C4" badumtss
     
    dayleaf, Nov 10, 2014
    #2
    J-man2003 and Sytoplasma like this.
  3. 101i

    101i Haxor Forum Moderator Tester

    Messages:
    445
    My teacher asked me too tell her 10 puns too see if I could make her laugh.
    No pun intended.
     
    101i, Nov 10, 2014
    #3
    hierbo, ieatpieandlikepie, icemusher and 1 other person like this.
  4. icemusher

    icemusher eats straw, lives in a manger
    2. The Writer's Apprenticeship - Write your stories and have them critiqued!

    Messages:
    335
    That was actually better than most I've heard, took me 5 seconds to figure it out.
     
    icemusher, Nov 11, 2014
    #4
  5. J-man2003

    J-man2003 Haxor

    Messages:
    352
    watt
    --- Double Post Merged, Dec 5, 2014, Original Post Date: Dec 5, 2014 ---
    "Hey dude, look at that player, he's the bomb! Yeah, but he has a short fuse." badumtss.

    "One time I went to a drug store, I took all the halls." badumtss.

    "Attic on Typhon" had to.

    "Spawnsh bahb scAr pahntss." = My childhood

    "Take the Halls with boughs of bombs!" ran out of ideas.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2014
    J-man2003, Dec 5, 2014
    #5
    icemusher and Sytoplasma like this.
  6. Troy_McMaster

    Troy_McMaster Catapult Fodder

    Messages:
    1
    • Yesterday a clown held open the door for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
    • How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.
    • It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
    • What does a house wear? A dress.
    • Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on its own? It was two tired.
    • The furniture store keep calling me to come back. But all I wanted was one night stand.
     
    Troy_McMaster, Dec 10, 2014
    #6
    hierbo, ieatpieandlikepie, SirDangalang and 6 others like this.
  7. Auburn

    Auburn Prepare Yourself! Forum Moderator Staff Alumni Donator Tester
    1. SharSharShar - [SHARK]

    Messages:
    734
    Prepare yourself for some music related puns:

    One time my stand partner asked me to hold his bass while he went to get rosin. The conductor looked over at me and asked "what are you doing?" I replied; "Playing the double bass!"

    Caution, continuing in the field of music will lead to sax and violins

    I saw a group of violin players hanging out and thought to myself "what a bunch of treble-makers."

    Sadly, puns aren't really my forte, but they give me such a strange tromboner that I have to loosen my g-string before I jazz my pants.
    Hmm, maybe that pun fell a little flat.
     
    Auburn, Dec 12, 2014
    #7
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  8. icemusher

    icemusher eats straw, lives in a manger
    2. The Writer's Apprenticeship - Write your stories and have them critiqued!

    Messages:
    335
    I hate jokes about German sausages. They are the wurst.
    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, I can't put it down.
    A man with dyslexia walks into a bra.
    Why were Native Americans in America first? Because they had reservations!
    The girl said she had met me before at the vegetarian club, but I never met herbivore.
     
    icemusher, Dec 13, 2014
    #8
    J-man2003, Bint, Sytoplasma and 1 other person like this.
  9. dayleaf

    dayleaf Haxor
    1. The Thieves Guild

    Messages:
    255
    A wife asks to her husband:
    W: say to me something sweet
    H: sugar
    W: no! not that, something beautiful
    H: the sky
    W: ugh, something that makes me say "Aaaaaaawww"
    H: the first part of the ABC
    W: ok im done, tell me something SEXY
    H: your sister.

    :D
     
    dayleaf, Dec 13, 2014
    #9
    wilpin7, dual_chiecken and Pizza like this.
  10. J-man2003

    J-man2003 Haxor

    Messages:
    352
    Those are some sharp puns!

    Also, one time my stand partner dropped the bass. Our conductor was very upset.

    Lol I play Cello.
    Wow! Those puns are sharp.

    One time my stand partner dropped the bass. Our conductor got upset and said this wasn't the place for dub-step.

    Only music pun I can think of, it's not even a quarter of what I could've thought of.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2015
    J-man2003, Dec 28, 2014
    #10
    icemusher likes this.
  11. ieatpieandlikepie

    ieatpieandlikepie Drill Rusher

    Messages:
    146
    A pun: Pun
    A big pun: Pun
    A small pun: Pun
     
    ieatpieandlikepie, Jan 2, 2015
    #11
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  12. icemusher

    icemusher eats straw, lives in a manger
    2. The Writer's Apprenticeship - Write your stories and have them critiqued!

    Messages:
    335
    This is Thomas. This is pain. And they're going to teach you some Common Sense.
     
    icemusher, Jan 2, 2015
    #12
    J-man2003 likes this.
  13. dual_chiecken

    dual_chiecken Haxor
    1. Zen - [Zen] - (Invite Only)

    Messages:
    482
    Darude Sunstorm
    Inside mumble joke is real
     
    dual_chiecken, Jan 2, 2015
    #13
    RampageX, icemusher and Auburn like this.
  14. BlueLuigi

    BlueLuigi :^) Forum Moderator Donator Tester

    Messages:
    3,620
    I don't trust stairs, because they're always up to something.

    While I love Big Pun, I got some bad news for you bud, he's been dead for years.

    I don't think you're allowed to call any form of a darude sandstorm joke an inside joke, you just, you just don't.
     
    BlueLuigi, Jan 5, 2015
    #14
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  15. PussyDestroyer

    PussyDestroyer Bison Rider

    Messages:
    318
    You are going to elevator and there are stairs.
     
    PussyDestroyer, Jan 6, 2015
    #15
  16. swagbot

    swagbot Shopkeep Stealer

    Messages:
    81
    This thread is so punny.

    [​IMG]
     
    swagbot, Jan 9, 2015
    #16
    BlueLuigi likes this.
  17. SirDangalang

    SirDangalang Lvl. 128 MissingNo. Donator

    Messages:
    235
    I once visited a crematorium that gave a discount for burn victims.

    Two cannibals were eating a clown, one says to the other "does this taste funny to you?"

    The best contraceptive for the elderly is nudity.

    <3 Fallout 3 haha :D
     
    SirDangalang, Jan 9, 2015
    #17
    butterscotch and BlueLuigi like this.
  18. dayleaf

    dayleaf Haxor
    1. The Thieves Guild

    Messages:
    255
    Me trying to talk with girls. screen-15-01-31-12-26-51.png Badumtss...
     
    dayleaf, Jan 31, 2015
    #18
    J-man2003, FuzzyBlueBaron, swagbot and 1 other person like this.
  19. Bint

    Bint Haxor

    Messages:
    536
    At least there's










    Plenty more fish in the sea!
     
    Bint, Jan 31, 2015
    #19
    hierbo, FuzzyBlueBaron, 101i and 1 other person like this.
  20. FuzzyBlueBaron

    FuzzyBlueBaron Warm, Caring, Benign, Good and Kind Philanthrope Global Moderator Forum Moderator Donator Tester
    1. The Young Blood Collective - [YB]

    Messages:
    2,508
    Stolen from a good friend of the Jewish comedian persuasion:

    Heil, I've got trainloads of Nazi puns; but people just don't reich them...

    *crickets*
     
    FuzzyBlueBaron, Feb 2, 2015
    #20
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Mods: BlueLuigi
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