Things You Think Only You Do.

Im pretty sure noones does this...

• I test if I have telekinetic powers everyday around 3 pm
• I set my alarm clock and wake up 10 minutes before it goes off
• Sometimes when I walk up my stairs im hold on by the rail and put both feet on the front of the step (not the top) and pretend im climbing a moutain having to pull myself up via the rail.
• After downloading paranormal stuff I imagine they're top secret files and that when I goto sleep a SWAT team is gonna kick down my door rush for me and the computer.

 

sley drgns

 

Are you guvnuh, or jeremy? I remember us having a conversation 3 years ago talking abotu how we alll hate those assholes who call themselves Dragonslayer6988420lolronpaul or whatever. I feel so unprepared for this moment seeing one in the wild that I'm having difficulty that its not an eleborate troll.

Anyway.

I climb up my stairs on all fours.
When a door is closing i do my best indiana jones and try to get through it without touching it.
When I have to do really easy stuff, like pick up a pencil, i make a grunting noise like im lifting something really heavy. Just because. I'm not really sure why i do it.

 

waitwut

 

I hate the colour cyan, with a passion.
I sleep with my head under the blankets.
I always run down long hallways
I kick cats away when they come near me.
I sometimes stay up all night to catch up on youtube.
I like to punch people who say bro or the c word to much.
I only eat junk food on Wednesdays.
When my girl friend calls i answer it with a fake accent and say it is my cousin, what did you want to tell him. if she is angry i say he is not home, if it is good i say 'ill go get him'

 

I scrape my hands together so fast that they start making a sound smiliar to the fap sound.
..
(<<<2 years) Always when I was in bath, I liked to hold my erected penis and pretend I'm playing Rallisport Challenge 2.

 

I put legitiment claims on joke threads.
I enjoy sleeping in wierd places.

 

and what would these weird places be?

 

I think one of them may be under your bed.

 

I sleep on the ground sometimes because my bed is too soft.
I sleep on the bed sometimes because the ground is too hard.
I open the refrigerator door with my toes.
I sometimes pretend to be a guinea pig with my guinea pigs. Hay doesn't taste that bad.
In empty public bathrooms that are clean, I do handstands. And wash my hands.
I climb up stairs on all fours. Yeah.

 

I tell people they waste my oxygen and I'm never sorry about it.

Edit: And sometimes I open a door with my leg.

 

I habitually deceive people into thinking I have multicolor socks.
I randomly congratulate people on their victory on the recent mayor elections, and then feigning annoyance due to my seeming support for their opposition.
I break out in large speeches criticizing the government's new tax laws while urinating with others.
I act aloof while mentioning my relations with the local butcher.
I dawdle while in line with the bank, making sure the people behind my are mildly annoyed.
I imagine my friends are my enemies and my enemies are friends thus putting me in hilarious positions compromising my personal security.
I believe myself to be a large capybara python hybrid beast and slitheringly scamper, spreading disease and consuming smaller mammals.

 

whtt?

 

Analyse and assess someone very thoughtfully when first meeting them.

Step 1: Sussing them out.
- Note how they extend their hand to me, if they hand their palm pointed slightly upwards, it indicates their submissiveness to me, perpendicular to the ground indicates neutrality and palm turned down over yours indicates that the person in question is trying to be dominant.
- Try to err the conversation towards them, find out who they are.
- Closely monitor facial expressions.
- Note how they are sitting, if their legs are crossed towards me it indicates fondness/attracted, if away indicates hostility/dislike.
- Note the inclination of there torso, if they are leaning close it shows they are engaged in conversation or like/attracted-to me.
- Note their tone and how they convey themselves to me.
- Observe they're treatment of others.
- Observe they're sense of humour.
- Examine they're posturing.

Step 2: Useless extra thought.
- Guess their height and weight and body type and judge whether I could beat them in a fight.
- Guess if they are the fighting type.
- If female, pay close attention any signs they may be attracted to me (Not desperate lol I just like to see).

Step 3: Do I like/ Would I bang said person.
Decide whether its a yay or nay.

 

I microwave caviar sandwiches......

 

If you were some kind of domestic pet I would want to own you.

 

If you pamper me enough that is.... ;)

 

Plan for world domination
Imagine how i kill people in a brutal way
Train to have super powers