Story when i came i fell... story of dragon c. part one

when i came to to the vast lands of kag. the first think i remember was falling from the sky. i did not know what or how i got here but here i was falling. head first i had a green hat with a feather in it and a bow with 40 arrows. as i was falling i should have been scared but i wasn't i felt some thing in my green shirt pocket things in fact i felt 2 more in my leather satchel i pulled out the one from my pocket and looked at it . it was a Crystal heart beautifully made. i was coming close to the ground and final i started to panic. (how did i get here?) . the ground was coming closer by the second and soon i was going to hit. (oh god) when i hit everything went dark and instead of dieing i got knocked out and woke up soon. it was getting dark and i know that zombies come at night but when i turn my head around there wad a castle i didnt have to fend off zombies after all then i ran and the beginning of my story started .
end of part one.

 

Man, i thought that this would be one of those erotic-kamasutra, fifty shades of grey kind of things - short story style.
Read over your headline man, also your whole text, but the headline, uargh...

"When i came, i fell"​

-Manuel Ferrara​

 

Oh, some constructive critisism also from my side:
Don't use that nasty-ass font, it's a pain for the eyes to read that tinzy winzy text.
If it was your intention to annoy your readers, my true apologies, i did the same with my nasty turquoise name.

 

Harsh their wording may be, their criticism is valid and constructive. I'd go as far to say that the only person in the wrong is you, dragonc, for refusing to take it despite giving them every opportunity to voice their opinions; if you don't want people to comment on your work, you shouldn't post it in a publicly accessible place.

 

i am going to change my writing but the way they say in made me annoyed so i didn't say that