Corrupt a wish!

Granted, now you fail faster.

I wish the Trampolines weren't voodoo.

 

Granted, for some reason you're really into noodling.

I wish people still occasionally got UnnamedPlayer by servers.

 

Granted, the better one is better.

I wish this was less of a circlejerk.

 

Granted, but now it's back to being a circlejerk.
I wish I had a sandwich, cause I'm hungry and what not...

 

Granted. You have a sandwich, but the sandwich is hungry too and manage to eat you.

I wish I had more time.

 

granted. All the fat people go to Africa but they join Kony's militia

I wish for someone to grant my wish with a side effect.

 

Granted, I get to make a wish.

I wish I got more than 40-ish alerts in a given day.

 

Granted, you can't take the overflow of alerts and you commit suicide.

I wish that I was in the land of Ooo with Finn and Jake.

 

That takes place in the distant future, but unless you're on these forums thorugh magoc you're in the same world already.
I wish Hella would respond to our chess game more promptly.

 

Granted, humans can't.

 

Granted, your Milk was made of horse sperms and the chocolate biscuit... well.. you know what that is. xD

I wish to have more wishes tbh.

 

Granted, but you're no longer a hippophiliac.

 

Granted everything you wished for...

I kinda want some pants.

 

You get a skirt.

I don't want to be tired, but I also don't want to sleep.