Comments on Profile Post by Hella

No? No?!
How dare you refuse such an offer! I plan to increase profits of this republic by selling honey-coated fish to the neighbouring cities, and yet you still back down?!
I have lost all faith in your words.

Can't you see that the honey-coated fish idea is awful?! There ARE no neighbouring cities! We're goddamn trees!

What about the grove of Heginstead? Oh, and the sanctuary of Glosenwood? They're populated with our bretheren! They will surely purchase my product!
Just you watch, I'll show you!

They don't have any mouths, Justi. Or hands. Or legs. Or brains, for that matter.

Minor details. We'll begin to barter with humans once they accept our terms and agree to stop cutting us down for their own benefit.

We need to be really unattractive to lumberjacks somehow, to extend our survival! Our species as we know it cannot last much longer as we currently exist.

Perheps smothering ourselves in the honey-coated fish would work to our advantage. I will gather the woodland creatures to assist in the smothering.

Which woodland creatures? You killed them all last month, so you could sell cheese flavoured squirrel snacks.

It was a worth-while investment, if you ask me. I mean sure, the whole thing back fired on me and I ended up losing my entire stock to highwaymen...But hey, it could've been worse.

There was that one time where I almost burnt down the entire grove with my electric match sticks, after all.

I remember the time with the highwaymen, and how you immediately slaughtered them all in order to make highwayman skin anoraks.

And those weren't electric matchsticks, they were flamethrowers. The difference is that matches don't work at a range of 20 feet.

For some reason, the anoraks didn't sell well. My bartering skills are top notch!

Also, I told you, they weren't flamethrowers. They just emitted gas which could be lit by the simple flip of a switch. Seems like a perfectly normal addition to the household, if you ask me.

It is, if you don't want the household anymore, and would rather have some cinders.

The big problem with your anoraks is they would shrink in the wash. You put it on first time, it's a little large. Wash it, try to put it on, instant suffocating corset!