Because I'm a horrible person. Also, because I *meant* to write "ever" rather than "never". My sentence was me expressing my surprise and disappointment that the idea had Ever been suggested in the first place. ;)
Also, consider it an invitation to read some of the classics, like Pride & Prejudice, or I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. They'll invariably expand your familiarity with more convoluted speech forms (in other words, you'll get better at reading complicated stuff). :P
I was referring to the try hard nature of your pretentiousness. Come on man, get wit' the game! You ain't even on my street yet, let alone my level! ^_^
It's all about how you embrace the meta. For example, you called me pretentious despite the fact that I was open and friendly taking time out of what is, in all honesty, a stupidly busy time for me (what with exams, etc.) to explain the intent and meaning behind my post rather than simply brushing you off or laughing at your lack of comprehension.
I might have broken it down further than necessary, but I can't help it if your pride turns an honest attempt at mutual communication and betterment into something vainglorious. *That*, good sir, is the actual definition of pretension: the transmutation of etiquette into boorishness via the application of self-importance.
Now go apologise to Hella and give yourself twenty lashes with a wet noodle.
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