Hotdamn, fella; that's bloody awful. Sorry to hear it. :<
I'm sure you've probably got better shoulders to lean on, but if you ever need a random's ear, you know where to find me. Not lost a parent, but have trudged through a fair amount of tragedy these past few years, so fwiw I vaguely know the territory and can offer some perspective.
(although, fuck, there's not a *lot* of perspective that can be said at this stage. :/ I mean, you've lost your mum ffs. Things gunna be rough for a fair while, I'd imagine. I guess the best that can be said is that one day, some time in the future, things'll feel a tiny bit less shitty then they probably feel atm. So if that helps, hold on to that bit of hope. :< )
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