Corrupt a wish!

That extra bit of height tips you past the attractiveness event horizon and women are drawn to you like its an Axe commercial. You die being ripped to shreds by possessive young women.

I wish that society would allow me to wear a scarf without my sexuality being questioned. My neck is fucking cold.

 

You stop being bitch and wear a scarf like a real man, because it's fucking 2012 stop being a whiney little bitch and rock out with a scarf like I do. Nobody questions my sexuality and if they do, like I give a fuck? You are eaten by a grue.

I wish contrary was as sexually secure and confident as me so that he wouldn't worry about what people think of him. Also, my penis is too big make it smaller plz.

This game is fun :)

 

That was technically two wishes so ill grant the first one, but as a result you are now Contrarys b*tch...

I wish the L and R buttons on my DSI would start working properly again... damn things wont respond from time to time.

 

Wish granted. However, the curse "May you live in interesting times" holds true- your teacher is secretly a serial killer who runs his victims through the woods in a terrifying hunt that ends in blood. You are the only one that knows the truth, no one believes you, and they are now keeping you alive for the express purpose of terrifying you for the rest of the semester. Will he let you live? Maybe if you get an A in the course.

I wish I had a pair of dress shoes that were both comfortable AND didn't wear quickly- I feel like I replace them all too often.

 

The sharks are on your team but they are horrible griefers and eat you. Repeatedly.

I wish I was cooler. It's hot.

 

Granted. You get cooler. You keep getting cooler. By now your internal organs are beginning to shut down and your fingers are falling off. Your legs fall off and your heart beats once an hour. Your head falls off but is preserved by the cold. In 9843721 years time you are discovered, unfrozen and restored to life, only to immediately die, as you have no body.

I wish I could see the Hobbit movie right now.

 

You see the Hobbit movie, and it sucks. There's a scene where the trolls are trying to decide how to cook the dwarves. Cue canned laughter. The copy you see is a terrible SVHS Screener rip with sync issues and a watermark that reads PROPERTY OF NEW LINE CINEMA. FOR REVIEWING PURPOSES ONLY. DO NOT DISTRIBUTE.

I wish I could walk on the water and swim on the land.

 

Wish granted. Jesus and Chuck Norris are both pissed that you copied their amazing abilities, though, and proceed to beat the crap out of you with righteous fury.

I wish I had 1,000,000 more wishes.

 

Granted. You have 1,000,000 more wishes- in fact all the wishes you could ever use- but you cannot yourself use them. In fact, the only way they can be used is by other people, in threads such as these. At first you fulfill their wishes to the letter, but after probably the first few hundred the strain of meeting everyone's demands gets to you- so you find clever ways to break their wishes into something more pleasing to you. Interestingly enough no one ever seems to think to wish for your freedom. You become the engine for which all of this is based on, and in so doing are enslaved to the whims of the masses.

I wish I had an apple just like the one I just ate. It was delicious!

 

Granted. As you recover from the sudden hour-long vomiting session, you notice bits and chunks of your aforementioned apple. Before you can realize that the apple might have been the cause, your cravings get the best of you. Time for round 2.

I wish that the next person to make a wish wishes for my freedom.

 

Granted. Divreus receives his freedom and lives free of the cruel life he has lived for millenia. He can now dance in golden fields and whatnot. Dancing, dancing, dancing, of course that has to stop briefly when he falls down an abandoned mineshaft and breaks his legs. Things aren't so great in the mineshaft as the rats don't appreciate their new neighbour and a mole files a complaint against Divreus. It rains and you drown. The end.

I wish I was a cat

 

Granted, hoever teh fleucnmy is ni aonther ;nguage tjat npppne has s[pnken for cenituris. poelpe lsoe the anility to ues angliush.

 

You didn't make a wish. :<

I wish I could jump 30 feet up.

 

Wish granted. You can jump 30 feet up. However, you can ONLY jump 30 feet up- your body forgets how to jump to any lesser extent. Further, falling from 30 feet is surprisingly lethal for people.

I wish I could toggle on or off whatever laws of reality I wanted to at will, and have these "toggled" laws selectively affect or not affect people based on my whims.