Make a wish and ruin someone else's

Granted, but 1 IQ added doesn't make much difference when everyone is snooki.
I wish for a new beret.

 

Granted. By the way, the previous owner had a huge problem with lice and ticks.
I wish for a glow stick

 

Granted but it doesn't glow.

I wish an Alien ware computer.

 

Granted, but it's just an Alien wearing a computer.

I wish for a tube of pringles.

 

The fresh smell overloads your smell sensors and you die.

I wish for hentai

 

It's Ero Guro. (Search it :D )
I wish for a Wand.

 

Here you go, a wooden wand. *Snap*

I wish for a steak

 

Wish granted, but Saxton Hale has already ate it.

I wish for a dwarf.

 

Granted. It's you.

I wish for a crayon.

 

Granted, but you left it in the sun, and it melted.
I wish for the Apocalypse.

 

It came but it was an apocalypse of edible zombies that do nothing
I wish for a house made of normal stone with none but me living in it

 

Granted, but an earthquake hit and the stone crumbled on to you and killed you.
I wish for a taco that nothing bad could happen to, do, or be changed. ;3

 

granted, but you ordered brussell sprouts on your taco instead of cheese
I wish for his taco to have cheese instead of brussell sprouts

 

Granted, but the brussell sprouts went into your mouth.
I wish that I was eating my taco.

 

Granted, but you got food poisoning from the beef on your taco.
I wish for the ability to read any language, I don't need to speak it though.

 

Granted. Too bad you're now blind.
I wish for a fairy.

 

Woah, Twilight Zone moment
Granted, but the fairy lifts you fifty feet in the air and drops you, killing you instantly.
I wish for interspecies communication.

 

Granted. But you accidentally tell an elephant where to put its trunk, and it kills you.

I wish for nyan

 

Granted, but it's so big it instantly collapses in on itself creating a black hole, sucking the entire milky way galaxy (including earth) into it.
I wish for a jetpack.

 

granted but it runs out of fuel 100 feet in the air dropping you
I wish for an apple made of gold.