Make a wish and ruin someone else's

Granted, you had (note tense) it now (note tense). Time breaks.

I wish to tell jokes that are actually funny.

 

Granted, but now you cannot sleep. You wander alone through the night for all eternity and end up depressed due to loneliness. Everyone has to sleep at night, yet you cannot. Burdened with this superpower of yours, you simply sit and stare at sleeping people to pass time. That is your life, until you decide to end it yourself.

I wish I would discover a hidden superpower within myself.
#Screw you internet

Granted, but you are still a boring person.
I wish I had the power of manifesting my thoughts and fantasies at will and make them reality.

 

Granted, you wish for cookie monster to appear, he appears and thinks your a cookie...
I wish I had the power to travel through time.

 

Granted, you move through time slightly faster than one second per second *cough*you we're already time travelling*cough*.

I wish the next post in this thread is off-topic.

 

Granted, but the content scars you for life, making you unable to enter the internet ever again.
I wish I had the same power as the main character in the manga manhwa "The Gamer"

 

Granted, but Korean webcomic aren't manga, even if they are on manga sites. Anyways... you get killed almost as soon as you first walk into an illusion barrier.

I wish I knew how to pronounce aplomb.

 

Hyperinflation ensues, it's all worthless.

I wish these forums were more active.

 

Granted, but you use it without a spotter and accidently die.

I wish I were a slightly different height.

 

Granted, you are now 20 cm tall.
I wish I could emit harmless wifi signals out of my skin pores.

 

Granted, but you die of dehydration two days later.
I wish I could lick my elbow.

 

Wish Granted.
You grow too many elbows and become known as the legendary "Elbow Man" You have now 12 year old kids drooling over you because your their real-life super hero.

I wish I had the ability to travel to parallel universes.

 

Wish granted. He goes by the moniker of NamedPlayer and his power is that anyone intrested immediately learns his identity. Somehow you didn't get the memo. Hijinx ensue.

I wish I could take back my terrible decision (the one from yesterday).