Make a wish and ruin someone else's

Granted, but nobody realizes that's a holiday and therefore neither celebrates nor acknowledges that they are happy during it.

I wish for a Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle.

 

Granted, but the model breaks apart the moment you take it out of the box/assemble it

I wish for moar CDs (I like my albums)

 

The CDs are just plain, and all your burning equipment is broken.

I wish that I could see 101i ninja again.

 

Granted, but some dude stole his account, so it's actually not him.
I wish they added bats to KAG.

 

Granted, people hate them and they get removed.

I wish to have some orange juice, im thirsty

 

Granted, but you drank water before you got the juice, so you're not thirsty anymore.
I wish Terraria was free

 

granted, but there are a million bugs
i wish archers were removed from kag

 

Granted, but the devs accidentally removed kag instead of archers.
I wish for candy that has strawberry taste.

 

granted but the candy is poisened
i wish for my dreams to come true

 

Granted, but the candy has such a strong flavour that you're overwhelmed by its strawberry-ness and you die

I wish that I knew everyone on this forum instead of just Darg

 

Granted, but you discovered that theyre all @Dargona1018 's alts

I wish spikes weren't nerfed

 

Granted, they got REMOVED

I wish for a nice car

 

Granted, but you got a Bugatti and went too fast. Now your car is burning on the side of the road and you burnt corpse is slowly disintegrating inside. (Wow so dark)
I wish I was the ultimate overlord of EVERYTHING. Since I am, I have made it so that my wishes can't be ruined.

 

Granted, but the people hate you and rebel. As a result you are beheaded and your head is stuck on a spike.

I wish for a better computer than my laptop

 

Granted, but it gets stolen by dog ninjas.

I wish for someone to hug me ;m;

 

Granted, but the hug is so tight that you are crushed

I wish that my iTunes wasn't possesed by a demon which keeps on playing music after iTunes has been closed

 

Granted, now the demon came out and ate you.

I wish I had cake.

 

Granted but its fruit cake I wish buffalos were flamable

 

Granted, but they ... uh ... give you a third degree burn.

I wish I was good better at KAG