Share your confessions (Confess!)

Used to call my teachers mom all the time and everytime I did they had a couple of faces on, and .

It was mainly

 

How did you get your teacher's mum's number? Was she hot?

 

She has to sit by the fire because she has poor circulation (she's 80). So thermally, I'd say yes.

 

Fixed it, you monster.

 

Time to revive this thread:

Ladies & Mentlegen, I present to you - the most evil thing I've ever done in my 18 years of living.

This one time some years ago, my sister's friend started living with us for unspecified reasons - she usually prepares herself for work at 6 AM, and at that time, I was still awake, though she was completely unaware to my presence at the time. I was still in my room, she had just come out of hers wearing a set of headphones with some music on. She went into the kitchen and put the kettle on and decided to go back into her room to do her hair and makeup.

*Click*

Evil-mode activated. I sneak out of my room, she is still oblivious, I go into the kitchen, turn her cup upside down. I opened all the cupboards, pulled out all the plates, cutlery, pots and pans. I put the glass of vinegar onto of her upside down cup. I arranged all the crockery on the floor into patterns, poured salt on the kitchen sides. I wreaked havoc, all while being as silent as something really really quiet.

I snuck back into my room and shut the door and sat on my bed with a grin like I had just defeated Garrosh Hellscream on Heroic/Mythic being the Realm First in World of Warcraft. It took a few minutes but she exited her room - nothing much was said from her, I didn't hear her make her cup of tea, I only heard her run back into her room, grab a bunch of things and sprint out of the front door and into her car.

Several hours later, my mother tells me about what happened to her this morning, how all the cupboard doors had been opened, everything had been taken out and all that jazz. She had put up on Facebook that she had a "paranormal encounter". I confessed to my mother that I did all of it, and to be honest I think that was the only time my mother was actually proud of something I did. She said she wouldn't tell her that it was me, fortunately.

However! Two years had passed since the "paranormal encounter", she had moved out since then, but she came over to visit and watch a film with us - we watched The Woman in Black, we talked about spooky stuff, then she brought up the subject of how she was haunted by a spirit while getting ready for work. I confessed to her that it was me the entire time. She yelled at me for a solid 10 minutes, screaming that she told everyone she knew about the "paranormal encounter", then after that she proceeded to beat the everliving crap out of me. She may be small but she has one hell of a punch.

Worth it.

 

I touch myself.

 

I tried doing it again to her, but this time she knew I was awake and left a note on the floor outside my door saying "Do what I think you're going to do and I will cut you."

 

Beautiful freindship at its finest!

 

I watched a python attack and eat a kitten and didn't try help the kitten, still makes me cri (no-one in my family knows)

 

Forgive me Father Geti, for I have sinned.

I replaced one of my sister's photos in my lounge with a picture of Kim Jong Un, now I'm awaiting my mother and step-father to notice the change. I did this earlier today might I add.

Spoiler: Proof of Crime

 

why not put in putin
came back from dead to get sammy on that one

 

I'm gonna do Putin next actually.

 

dont forget about stalin also

 

I confess... I killed John fuckin Kennedy with my dank no-scopes, Then I declined Thomas the dank engines offer for me to join FaZe

 

ok guys... I know this might surprise you but I am not the best kag player its
really...

please forgive me but you shouldve known

[

Spoiler: its actually

jojodud

 

I try not to go to the toilet in public places unless I've been drinking enough that I can pee in all the urinals. I think it's rude to leave any out #urinallivesmatter

It's super awkward when there are other people at one of the urinals and I have to be all like "umm, could I just join in for a minute please?"

 

My other confession is that i like necro-posting... a lot.

 

Im a poisoned potato

 

secretly, i don't have ushanka at my house
only wintercoats