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Share your confessions (Confess!)

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by SJD360, Jan 2, 2016.

Mods: BlueLuigi
  1. ParaLogia

    ParaLogia tired Administrator Global Moderator Forum Moderator Tester Official Server Admin

    Messages:
    1,133
    A comma does not fix that sentence at all. Maybe quotation marks?

    OT: My confession is that I'm a grammar nazi.
     
  2. an_obamanation

    an_obamanation The boss Donator

    Messages:
    392
    Used to call my teachers mom all the time and everytime I did they had a couple of faces on, ::P: :huh?: :wink: and :ehh:.

    It was mainly :huh?:
     
    Cruxiat and Sytoplasma like this.
  3. Blue_Tiger

    Blue_Tiger Bison Rider Tester

    Messages:
    899
    How did you get your teacher's mum's number? Was she hot?
     
    Cruxiat and an_obamanation like this.
  4. She has to sit by the fire because she has poor circulation (she's 80). So thermally, I'd say yes.
     
  5. Fixed it, you monster.
     
    Cruxiat likes this.
  6. SJD360

    SJD360 Bison Rider

    Messages:
    292
    Time to revive this thread:

    Ladies & Mentlegen, I present to you - the most evil thing I've ever done in my 18 years of living.

    This one time some years ago, my sister's friend started living with us for unspecified reasons - she usually prepares herself for work at 6 AM, and at that time, I was still awake, though she was completely unaware to my presence at the time. I was still in my room, she had just come out of hers wearing a set of headphones with some music on. She went into the kitchen and put the kettle on and decided to go back into her room to do her hair and makeup.

    *Click*

    Evil-mode activated. I sneak out of my room, she is still oblivious, I go into the kitchen, turn her cup upside down. I opened all the cupboards, pulled out all the plates, cutlery, pots and pans. I put the glass of vinegar onto of her upside down cup. I arranged all the crockery on the floor into patterns, poured salt on the kitchen sides. I wreaked havoc, all while being as silent as something really really quiet.

    I snuck back into my room and shut the door and sat on my bed with a grin like I had just defeated Garrosh Hellscream on Heroic/Mythic being the Realm First in World of Warcraft. It took a few minutes but she exited her room - nothing much was said from her, I didn't hear her make her cup of tea, I only heard her run back into her room, grab a bunch of things and sprint out of the front door and into her car.

    Several hours later, my mother tells me about what happened to her this morning, how all the cupboard doors had been opened, everything had been taken out and all that jazz. She had put up on Facebook that she had a "paranormal encounter". I confessed to my mother that I did all of it, and to be honest I think that was the only time my mother was actually proud of something I did. She said she wouldn't tell her that it was me, fortunately.

    However! Two years had passed since the "paranormal encounter", she had moved out since then, but she came over to visit and watch a film with us - we watched The Woman in Black, we talked about spooky stuff, then she brought up the subject of how she was haunted by a spirit while getting ready for work. I confessed to her that it was me the entire time. She yelled at me for a solid 10 minutes, screaming that she told everyone she knew about the "paranormal encounter", then after that she proceeded to beat the everliving crap out of me. She may be small but she has one hell of a punch.

    Worth it.
     
  7. Hermap

    Hermap Bison Rider

    Messages:
    75
    I touch myself.
     
    Cruxiat, asger75, Blue_Tiger and 2 others like this.
  8. SJD360

    SJD360 Bison Rider

    Messages:
    292
    I tried doing it again to her, but this time she knew I was awake and left a note on the floor outside my door saying "Do what I think you're going to do and I will cut you."
     
    Cruxiat, Magmus, SirDangalang and 4 others like this.
  9. SirDangalang

    SirDangalang Lvl. 128 MissingNo. Donator

    Messages:
    235
    Beautiful freindship at its finest! :flex::heart:
     
  10. asger75

    asger75 Bison Rider

    Messages:
    232
    I watched a python attack and eat a kitten and didn't try help the kitten, still makes me cri (no-one in my family knows)
     
    Cruxiat and Hermap like this.
  11. Hermap

    Hermap Bison Rider

    Messages:
    75
    [​IMG]
     
  12. SJD360

    SJD360 Bison Rider

    Messages:
    292
    Forgive me Father Geti, for I have sinned.

    I replaced one of my sister's photos in my lounge with a picture of Kim Jong Un, now I'm awaiting my mother and step-father to notice the change. I did this earlier today might I add.

    [​IMG]
     
    Asu, Cruxiat, daskew87 and 7 others like this.
  13. BarsukEughen555

    BarsukEughen555 Drill Rusher

    Messages:
    434
    why not put in putin
    came back from dead to get sammy on that one:rekt:
     
    Cruxiat likes this.
  14. SJD360

    SJD360 Bison Rider

    Messages:
    292
    I'm gonna do Putin next actually.
     
    Cruxiat, daskew87 and an_obamanation like this.
  15. BarsukEughen555

    BarsukEughen555 Drill Rusher

    Messages:
    434
    dont forget about stalin also
     
    Cruxiat likes this.
  16. asger75

    asger75 Bison Rider

    Messages:
    232
    I confess... I killed John fuckin Kennedy with my dank no-scopes, Then I declined Thomas the dank engines offer for me to join FaZe
     
    Vampire, Cruxiat and Yagger like this.
  17. kittycity

    kittycity Ballista Bolt Thrower

    Messages:
    256
    ok guys... I know this might surprise you but I am not the best kag player its
    really...

    please forgive me but you shouldve known

    [
    jojodud :rekt::rektlord:
     
    Vampire, Cruxiat and Potatobird like this.
  18. I try not to go to the toilet in public places unless I've been drinking enough that I can pee in all the urinals. I think it's rude to leave any out #urinallivesmatter

    It's super awkward when there are other people at one of the urinals and I have to be all like "umm, could I just join in for a minute please?"
     
  19. dayleaf

    dayleaf Ballista Bolt Thrower
    1. The Thieves Guild

    Messages:
    255
    My other confession is that i like necro-posting... a lot.
     
    butterscotch, Sytoplasma and Elf like this.
  20. erik102003

    erik102003 Shark Slayer Tester

    Messages:
    125
    Im a poisoned potato
     
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