The KAG laws

Murphy laws were written to relieve us that we are not the only ones who think the whole universe is determined to mess with us. We'd like some to know that the KAG servers don't want to see only us die!

Class imbalance law:
If you switch to builder, there are not enough knights.
If you switch to knight, there are not enough builders.
If you switch to archer, there are not enough of either.

Team imbalance law:
Your team sucks.
Corollary:
If it doesn't, you will be switched to the team that sucks.
Corollary:
If you are not, then the top player/s of your team will voluntarily switch teams to balance, making the first statement true.

Stun magnetism law:
Your chance of getting stunned increases exponentially as the timer of the bomb you are holding approaches zero.

Rushed bomb blocking law:
When a bomb is coming fast...
If you shield forward, the bomb will explode behind you.
If you shield backwards, the bomb will explode in front of you.

Tunnel partiality law:
If your enemy digs a tunnel, your enemy will f*** you with it.
If your allies dig a tunnel, your enemy will f*** you with it.

Unstrategic collapse law:
If it would benefit your team to collapse an enemy structure, nobody will collapse it.
If it would benefit your team to capture an enemy structure, some idiot will collapse it.
Corollary:
And it will kill half of your team in the process.

Falling debris partiality law:
A single falling block of drawbridge is enough to kill you.
A whole castle can fall in any enemy's head, and he will somehow survive.

Falling debris magnetism law:
The falling debris will bounce unlimited times in a deliberate angle until it gets you, however far or deep you attempt to escape.

Universal wealth balance law:
Your chances of suddenly and inevitably dying are always proportional to the amount of bombs/arrows/resources you are carrying.
Corollary:
And you will respawn with no coins, regardless of how many you were carrying before your death.

Selective desertification law:
The amount of trees in your base will always be equal or less than the one in your enemies'.

Conditional connectivity law:
The probability of disconnection or lag spikes is proportional to your enjoyment of the current match.

Share your own! :p

 

Its funny becuase its all true.

 

this is awesome


Paper shield law
the higher your ping the more your shield will become paper

hold bomb jumping law
if your ping is 100 or more you can not hold bomb jump

law of dynamic proportions
if you build a base that follows the formula (% of x * % of y) - (100% of x * 100% of y)/(100% of x * 100% of y) , (where x is map's width and y is map's height) = greater chance of building survival. tldr the larger the building the more likely it will survive

Stalling law
any amounts of archer greater then 2 at a greater height then 10 can stall an enemy team for the entire match (this law is obsolete when enemies are tunneling)

 

The Law of Little League Baseball Archers
If a bomb is thrown, your team's archers will open the door to catch it.

 

Newton's Universal Gravitational Constant = 6.67x10^-11
MM's Universal Corner-slash Constant = 6.67

 

This right here is so true. I've witnessed it a many a time:p

 

The law of constant K/D
The higher your k/d is, the lower is k/d of your teammates.

 

If these rules apply to everyone in the match then this rule is a paradox.

 

Ah, but the funny thing about this rules is that they only apply to you. That's the whole point. :D

 

Key Tower Jinx Law​

If you find yourself thinking "We would be screwed if that tower collapsed" it will inevitably collapse in the next minute.
Corollary: It will kill you in the process.

The Direct Relation Law of Bomb Accuracy and Distance
The further away a Knight is while preparing to use a bomb, the more likely it is that the Knight will make a perfect throw and instagib you.

 

Addendum:
If you or a teammate happens to be the tunnel lord, this law is reversed.

 

Bombs will not by itself pass from a 1 body to a pro-er body
You can try it if you like, but you far better not-ta

 

Gravitation:

The taller or thicker a tower becomes, the more mass it will possess, therefore pulling objects of lesser mass exponentially toward it. This law works in conjunction with the principle of Time's Arrow; in which matter will reduce to it's least complex form as time passes.

 

That won't save you so easily:

+ If you are a tunnel lord, by effect of the class imbalance law you won't have enough knights, and the enemy will crush you in the surface.

+ If your teammate is a tunnel lord, there are two possibilities:
- Your team sucks, in which case you lose anyways.
- Your team no longer sucks, in which case the team imbalance law will switch either you or the tunnel lord.

In any case, you are still doomed. X3

 

btw drok you're a awesome archer

The Archer Law states that 5/6 of all the Archers in the game have bad aim. While the Thoery of Bombs states that Knights can aim better than Archers.

 

IF a knight is falling down on you:

Shield up.If your an archer
Just do nothing.If an archer

 

The Inevitable Griefer Law
If your team is winning, then a griefer will join your team

Corollary
And they will wreck your shit

 

The conceited Law
If im in the game, your gonna lose.

Corollary
It will be funny:P

 

The Chatting Law:
If you chat in battle, you will die;
If your allies chat in battle,they will die.

Corollary:If the enemy chats in battle, they wont die.