The KAG laws

The Law of Lumberjack:
If you're an Archer getting arrows, Builders run to your tree
If you're a Builder getting wood, Archers run to your tree.

 

The Law Of Ping:
-If you have a lower ping than your opponent, he will bitch about his lag.
-If you have a higher ping than your opponent, he will bitch about your lag.
-If you have the same ping as your opponent, he will tell you rudely to turn off your hacks.
Corollary: Get better internet, scrub.

The Middle Finger Law:
-If you use the middle finger icon, someone will kill you effortlessly.
Corollary: And after you die, he will use the middle finger on you.
-If an enemy uses the middle finger icon, you will try to kill him effortlessly, but you will fail.
Corollary: And he will smile for a few seconds before going back to the middle finger.

 

The emote law:
-If you require aid or notice something amiss and use the no.1 emote, you will instantaneously disappear from the visible spectrum within your immediate vicinity.
Corollary: The moment you start to chat to describe this problem in more detail 3 knights of the opposing team will magically appear.
Corollary: And they will kill you.

 

Corollary:
That idiot was me.

 

Miraculacklous Endshame Law
If somehow against all natural laws beknownst ye world, thou hast crushethed thine enemy swineguzzlers on doth frontlines by way of ye iron price, and thy ticket counts be reduced to betwixt one and negative one, thou shalt be immediately slain by thy pubbiest of foehammers. Not sword, nor arrow. Not bomb, nor crushing. Not headstomp, nor shieldsmash. Hammer-foe wilst be thy demise.
Corollary: Thyne enemy shalt proceed forth to victory thus after.

 

Kinda hard to understand

 

To truly understandeth, one must immerseth thy self in 6theth century England, ma lord.

 

That or when your team gets the flag, they get to a part of their base that is safe, and boast about it, until the enemy breaks through it, rapes them and takes it back along with our flag.

If the enemy gets it and boasts about it, we cannot break through their base, they rape us and cap the flag.

 

(if ur the only person doing good on ur team, you'll be the first person killed on ur team when tickets get to 0 and it will be done by a hammer and then the enemy will win)

 

another tunneling law
if you are successful in tunneling to the enemy's base without them knowing and steal their flag chances are, your team is sucking and you have had your own flag taken by force
corollary: the enemies' team has a admin and uses their powers to hack the game so you somehow lose flag, ending in their victory
(i know it happened to me before)

 

The Dematerialization Law
The chances of you randomly respawning increases dramatically with the number of bombs, arrows or resources you're carrying.

The Low Ticket Law
If you have 1 ticket left and are waiting to respawn, someone else will take that ticket before you can respawn.
Corollary: The guy who took that ticket will go afk.

 

I always thought why not have 'player based' tickets rather than a pool of tickets that everyone uses?

 

Imagine this: Everyone on your team is dead, while there's only two or three people left with about 10-15 tickets each because thet sat around and minecrafted all round, meaning you have to wait for your enemies to cap the flag. Yeah, that would suck. Also, just so this is more on topic, new law.

Tactics Law
Trying to use tactics against someone jab spamming will result in your miserable death.
Corollary: They will flip you the bird and continue to jab spam until death.

 

The current ticket system helps you to make tactical decisions about whether to push forward or start camping, could you imagine having to look through every single players ticket count just to get a rough idea as to how a team is doing? It would mean every game would end in the actual fighters and front line builders all being dead, and the minecrafters left with 12 lives to kill.
Ninja'd

Edit:
The Ninja law
The length of time and amount of brain power you spend on a post is directly proportional to the probability of being "ninja'd"

 

If you use admin on a server to help you or the enemy win, all the players will leave.
If the admin uses powers to hurt you, your team, or the enemy, everyone will laugh and dance and sing and have the best time of their life.

 

What's sad is that all these rules occur ;-; , hopefully it all changes in scripting build, and there will be many classes, well, on some servers :>

 

Hm.. my attempt at a law
-----------------------------------
The Hard Work Grief/Destroy Law
Chances are, nowadays, if you spend a lot of time making an amazing tower, or making a great base, a couple minutes later, you will return to your base to see that your enemy is jumping all over the place, ransacking your amazing base/tower.
Griefer: If you spend a lot of time making a nice, big tower, a griefer will come and blow up the base. And then it all crumbles to your feet.

The False Kick Law
You can enjoy your game, have fun, then wait, a griefer comes, and he destroys your tower. You then get false kicked, and you make an argument, and then more people false kick you. You are then banned.

Y'know, if all these laws happened to everyone at once, this game would be so strange. The griefer gets false kicked, everyone has a ton of resources and stuff, we all die, and yea...KAG would be strange.

 

The truth hurts, but its the truth.

 

The "ABUS" Law

If you are admin, the higher the guiltiness of the player you are convicting, the more likely people are to accuse you of abusing.​

Corrally: The more innocent the player, the more likely people will yell at you to ban him.​