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The kingdom of Orea

Discussion in 'Groups' started by SMASH1413, Sep 13, 2013.


What do you think of my story?

  1. It's brilliant write more get it Published!

  2. It is reasonable keep up the good work!

  3. Needs more work.

    0 vote(s)
  4. Needs a lot more to make it good.

    0 vote(s)
  5. Other response (bad)

  1. SMASH1413

    SMASH1413 Bison Rider

    Here is my story I wrote it quickly (very), I have never really written a story like this before, it's not huge, I could think of more to add but I am happy with it. Please beat with any mistakes with spelling I didn't proof read, and I took inspiration from The hobbit and LOTR (JRR Toilken)
    Here goes:

    The council of the 4 Dwarves sat on their thrones in the hall of Orra the centre of the land of Ofea. The Dwalvish kingdom. On the high throne sat Bor, The King of the whole empire. He was a tall Dwarf, a descendant of Thok, the first Lord to sit on the high throne after he brought the men of the four kingdoms together to unite their mighty race. For over 2 centuries Thok himself sat on the high throne, until, the war of Ecea, where the men of kingdom turned against each other for the possession of their most precious object. The gold of Ecea mountain.

    The war lasted for not over 1000 years when,in his greed, Viag, one of the kingdoms mightiest warriors, killed Thok for the High Lords possession of the Ecea Mountain. After this was done the people of the kingdom realised what bad they had done and what it had brought them, the death of their leader.

    Viag was still stricken with his lust for the gold, so the remaining lords decided to lock him into the mine of Ecea to live with his precious gold for the rest of eternity, before he was locked away the lords called for the son of Thok to rise up, his son was Bor. Bor decided to call for all of the gold to be collected and replaced into the mine.

    Bor was then made king of the empire. The Lords remained governing their own smaller kingdoms, but always under the watch of Bor.

    Most of it was returned, but, one piece of the kings armoury was missing, his sword. The sword was crafted by Thok himself the day he rose to power but now, no one knew where the sword was, or the powers that it possessed.

    It is said that the sword is still held by Thok who stands at the gates of Ecea, as a spirit, to stop anyone entering in fear of being possessed by the power of the gold, but, also to stop Viag from ever leaving the mine, to remain there for all eternity.

    Bor and his descendants still rule Ofea to this day, together with the descendants of the 3 remaining lords they formed the council of Thoksmen to guard the land, and to protect their gold, the council sat at the hall of Orra where they rules to this day.
  2. It could do with a tiny bit of editing. But the story itself was great! I hope to see more!
  3. SMASH1413

    SMASH1413 Bison Rider