Vending Machine

You get a half eaten fortune cookie that says, "Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity."

I put in a dead cat.

 

You get a possessed cat corpse.

I put in a tree.

 

You get a surprisingly large and leafy suppository applied to your rear end.

I put in grapeshot.

 

You get a grape-flavoured mint.

I put in an island.

 

You get teleported to Death Island.
I put in a Weeping Angel.

 

You get a broken neck
I put in a dwarf with amnesia

 

You get Dwarf Fortress.
I put in a cuppajoe

 

Joe steals your cuppajoe.
I put in a potato.

 

You get me!
I put in Slenderman

 

He asks you to give him 20$, and when you refuse, He goes to your house, steals your children's souls, then kills you.
I put in Jeff the killer.

 

You get Jeff the Wiggle.
I put in a sun.

 

You get a sun tan
I put in Allen walkers left arm

 

You get three arms

I put in a cheezel

 

You get a cheese wheel.
I put in a lemon.

 

It lights on fire and burns the machine down, then goes to your house and burns it down.
I put in the "SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" core.

 

You receive a insane Wheatly core
I put in Luffy's hat

 

You get Plasticman.
I put in a limited edition mint condition Batman figurine

 

You get Adam West
I put in a model of the Death Star

 

You get a real Light Saber.
I put in some random candy-bar wrappers.