Vending Machine

The vending machine acts as a trashcan, emitting a noise similar to wrappers hitting the bottom of a plastic trashcan.
I put in human giblets.

 

You get cops at your door.
I put in bacon.

 

You get to ride a pig.
I put in some candy-bars, in hopes of cloning them.

 

You get your candy-bars back but they are all cut in half, you have twice as many now.
I put in a used tissue.

 

The vending machine sneezes on you.
I put in a slice of cake.

 

You get a DVD with Adventure time with Fiona and Cake on it.
I put in a replica of the mark VI (The 10th doctor's) sonic screwdriver.

 

You get Sonic the Hedgehog's Screwdriver.
I put in a coke can

 

You get an empty can.
I put in a Foam Pickaxe.

 

You get Anderson's Little Mermaid- after she turned to sea foam.
I put in a blank book.

 

Holy crab I forgot about this topic and now it has 5 pages.

You get The Jefferson Lies, voted the worst book in history. The blank book is a better read than that. Here's the article: http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/16/and-the-worst-book-of-history-is/

I put in a slightly used battery.

 

You get an almost completely used battery (But not all the way. :p)
I put in half a chicken sandwich.

 

You get half a chicken.

I put in a blank USB

 

You get a USB with 999 Videos of p0rn

I put in a lagging, hacking, trolling and swearing griefer.

 

You get a promotion.
I put in 2 cents.

 

You get 1 cent.

I put in a Wraith

 

You get Rath.
I put in Superman.

 

You get Batman
I put in a bottle of flat soda

 

You get a bottle of wine, the cork of which smashes into your thigh as you take it from the machine.
I put in a bomb.

 

It doesn't fit in.
I put in a much smaller bomb that can actually fit in.

 

You get a smaller, more powerful but live bomb. *Boom*
I put in a walrus